Mashed, Baked, or Fried
by charlie009d
Summary: Truth was, he was not whelmed. Not whelmed at all.


So, I spent most of my morning searching for a challenge. I didn't find one. My Typing Monkey suggested one that I could not refuse.

Here it is.

Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice.

The ache in Robin's ankles had become nothing more than a dull throb that was pushed to the back of his mind. It wasn't all that painful, just uncomfortable. He had held worse positions. His foot was nearly folded in half as he pressed himself into farther between the bookshelf and the wall. His legs were in awkward positions beneath him, and he sucked in a sharp breath as they gave a painful throb. The only thing that mattered was that his hands were free, and that he could get to his utility belt, he just had to suck it up and deal with the pain until the problem was solved.

His masked eyes gazed across the library like a security camera, M"gann levitated in the air, nearly invisible due to her chameleon like powers. Conner was crouched behind a flimsy plant that did nothing to hide his bulky muscles, but it didn't really matter because no one would be able to see him for the door was around a corner and he would be the first person their attackers would encounter. Wally was parallel to where Robin was, he was squished in the bottom of a book shelf, doing all he could not to squirm in discomfort. Artemis was perched on top of a tall book shelf, she had an arrow nocked and positioned at the door. And Kaldur… Robin shivered, he did not want to think about what had happened to him.

To say the least he was not whelmed, not whelmed at all. First of he had a terrible day at school, Babs had been absent and he had been alone all day. On top of it all he and Artemis had arrived at the mountain to find M'gann crying right beside the zeta tubes, with Conner and Wally trying to comfort her, now that didn't fly well with Artemis. Unsure what to do both of the none superpowered teens stood back and awkwardly said words of comfort. When M'gann calmed down she explained that the mountain had been attacked by tentacled creatures that had assaulted her when she was attempting to make dinner. She and Conner had fled the room, but Kaldur had been lost.

Both the superclone and Martian refused to let anyone of them enter the living area, they wouldn't even let them peek around the corner. Immediately Robin took charge, from what he had gathered trying to rescue Kaldur would be nothing more than a recovery mission. M'gann had said that the shear number of their attackers was too much for them to handle, his first thought was to call Batman, but he pushed it away. He could lead the team, it was his destiny. If they picked off the attackers one by one they would have no problem reclaiming the cave. One good thing about the whole situation was that they had the home field advantage.

There was no time to mourn the loss of Aqualad, they had to rid their home of their assailants first. Robin pulled up a map of the mountain's ventilation systems on his wrist computer and shared the information with his friends. His plan was to get them all to the library and set up a battle ground, eventually the attackers would come for them, or they would bait them into falling for their trap. Either worked. So there they were, crouched in the library, waiting for the battle that was to come.

"I'm hungry," Wally moaned.

"Shut it, Baywatch." Artemis growled from her spot on top of the shelf.

"But I'm so _hungry!"_

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Don't you carry snacks or something?"

"I already ate them."

"Next time don't pig out."

"But I was hungry!"

"You're hungry now aren't you?

"Uh, duh."

"Then you should have saved them!"

Their volume was slowly escalating as the argument continued, Robin was worried that they would give away their positions before it was time to attack. He suddenly felt a new rush of gratitude towards Kaldur, how did he put up with them? Artemis and Wally fought like a married couple, M'gann and Conner cooed at each other constantly, and he… well he was a little troll. Guilty as charged. Popping out of his hiding spot Robin placed a finger to his lips and shushed them. It took a few minutes before they even noticed him.

Robin was grateful they were not Kryptonian, or he would have been cut in half with laser eyes. M'gann and Conner had abandoned their positions to see what all the commotion was about. It did not surprise them at all that Artemis and Wally were fighting, again. Face palming, Robin ordered everyone back to their positions, and they reluctantly followed their instructions.

"Look, Wally, I have a bagged lunch in my backpack," Robin said. "but I abandoned my bookbag back by the zeta tubes."

"That's a great place for it." Wally muttered.

"Wait," Artemis interjected. "Why would you bring a bagged lunch?"

"Um," Robin shuffled his feet. "I heard M'gann was cooking."

The Martian stared at him in disbelief. "Is there something wrong with my cooking?"

"No!" Robin nearly shouted. "No, It's just… Well, your cooking is so good that I don't think that I could stop myself from eating it and… I might explode?"

M'gann seemed satisfied with his answer. She floated back to her position, muttering something about being a good cook. Wiping sweat from his brow, Robin realized that he had avoided disaster by a hair. Grabbing a bird-a-rang out of his belt he made his way to the door of the library, the vent out was just above the door. He was the leader, he had to take a fall for the team, even if it was as stupid as getting Wally something to eat. But before he could climb into the vent he heard someone shout his name, and then an arrow wizzed past his ear.

Jerking his body around he found a tall dark figure looming over him with something clutched in his hand. He had been trained by Batman, he was the freaking Dark Knight's _kid,_ yet he stumbled backwards and tripped over his cape like a little kid. He had dropped his bird-a-rang in the fall, scrambling backwards he attempted to look for it, not once did he take his eyes off the figure that slithered through the darkness towards him. His heart beat so loud that he was sure Superman on the moon could hear it. All the blood rushed from his face, and in that moment he thought he was going to die. Why weren't the others helping him? Did they see something he did not?

As he backed into the light Robin let out an audible sigh or relief, not that he would ever admit that he was scared. Standing above him was Kaldur, with a small smirk set of his kind face. Clutched in his hand was what appeared to be a potato. He held it like it was as delicate as a leaf in the fall, it was pointed away from his body and he gazed at it uncertainly. Behind him, Robin could hear M'gann shriek. Quickly climbing to his feet Robin hesitantly poked Kaldur to make sure he was real before clamping him on the back.

"I'm glad you're alive." Robin said with a smile.

"As am I," he said gravely.

"What do you have there?" Artemis asked.

Kaldur examined the potato. "I believe it is called a potato. It can be mashed, baked, or fried, is that correct?"

Wally nodded, not sure where this was going.

"Is it… lethal?" The Atlantien asked.

"Um, no," The speedster responded. "They're delicious. Fun fact, did you know that a person can live on a diet of potatoes supplemented by milk or butter for their whole life?"

"No on cares, Kid Mouth." Artemis sneered, turning to Kaldur she asked: "Why would you think a potato is lethal?"

"They have invaded the cave."

Robin's face fell. "Do you mean to tell me we've been waiting in here to fight off _potatoes_?"

M'gann nodded vigorously. "They were quite scary."

"Take me the kitchen, now." Robin ordered.

"But-,"

"Now."

With an exasperated sigh M'gann lead the team out of the library. Conner held her hand as her body began to shake with sobs, she did not want to face her attackers again. Robin almost felt bad for her. When they arrived in the kitchen they could see that the whole floor was littered with potatoes. An open cabinet revealed an empty bag of potatoes. Robin deduced that M'gann had opened the cupboard and the open bag of potatoes had spilled on her. He didn't blame her about being scared in the least. She had never seen a potato before, how was she to know that they were just food and not some savage monster that wanted to eat her face off?

Gingerly picking up a potato, Robin held it out to M'gann, who hesitantly took it into her shaking hands. He smiled slightly, he loved to teach her new things about Earth. It filled her with a glee that was almost child like.

"See, M'gann." He said sweetly. "Potatoes never hurt anyone."

Out of nowhere a potato smacked him on the right side of his head and he held the tender spot, moaning. Across the room Wally whistled merrily with his hands folded behind his back and his eyes looking everywhere, but at Robin. Blinking the dizziness from his eyes, he shook his head and raised his eyes to meet M'gann's tear filled ones.

"You lied to me!"

Stupid, I know. But I was really bored. Review please!


End file.
